Can I get some air please?

For the past three weeks I've noticed that Stella's tires are not as full as they should be. Now usually I'm lazy and just ride on them even if they are a bit flat. The only problem with doing this is that as bike tires become flat, it becomes increasingly more difficult to ride the bike (especially up hills). So, this week I decided I should fill them up (mostly because I was having to gear down so low to get up the hill to my house that I was embarrassed for myself).

(an example of a flat tire like mine)

On Monday after work I biked on over to my favorite local gas station (the only one that I'm aware of in the area with a free air pump). But alas! They had their pump disconnected because they are repairing the car wash. (I honestly don't understand why the air pump has anything to do with the car wash, but I've learned not to mess with Bostonian logic). So, I decided to bike a little bit further down the road to the next gas station (mind you, I was now biking directly away from my house). When I got there a nice man who was filling up his car tires let me use the last little bit of his time on the air pump, which is fortunate because I realized after arriving that I didn't have 75 cents in quarters for the machine.

For some reason though, the air pump would only fill my tires to 30 psi. (Now, just to give you an idea of how flat my tires were...when they are full they are supposed to be at 60 psi, I was riding around with them at 20 psi, and then the silly pump would only fill them to 30 psi). Needless to say I was quite frustrated. So my solution? Just bike home and deal with it later.

So today after work I decided that I would give it another try because I was pretty sure that I was back down to 20 psi again. Sadly, as I pedaled past the "free-air-but-not-anymore-because-of-the-broken-car-wash station" I noticed that they still didn't have the hose connected to their air pump so I continued on to the other station, pulled up to the pump, reached into my bag to retrieve the 75 cents I was sure I had put in there, and I couldn't find it! So, yet again I left the station air-less and decided that I was just fated to ride on flat tires so just biked home defeated. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.

How it actually went down

Ok, so I know that graduation was a while ago, but recently a few people have reminded me that I still haven't given them the final version of my speech. Considering that there are quite a few rather horrendous versions out there (including on this blog), I thought I would set the record straight by posting the final version of my speech. And as a bonus I've included some pictures too!

Here is me giving the speech. I know it's not the greatest picture, but I promise it's the best one I have (my mom had to zoom in quite a bit). The dean guy (or whoever he is) behind me looks really excited about what I'm saying!
The funniest part of the whole thing is that I (the giant that I am) spoke right before this crazy midget. I honestly thought that the podium was gonna break as it rushed from the lowest possible setting to the highest (it made an awful straining noise). Kev and I had a good laugh over it though.

Yay! I'm graduated! (Actually I think I was making a "Y" here for mom...I can't remember...but I was really happy regardless).
Alright, enough of this picture craziness. Here's the speech. I wish I had a really cool title for it, but I don't:

Good morning everyone! So the other day I was thumbing through a Calvin and Hobbes book and came across a comic in which Calvin makes the following observation:

“Know what’s weird? Day by day nothing seems to change, but pretty soon, everything is different…You just go about your business and one day you realize you’re not the same person you used to be.” (It’s a Magical World: A Calvin and Hobbes Collection by Bill Watterson p. 132)

Recently I had one of those moments of realization—other than still being a nerd, I’m really not the same person who came here to BYU as a shy, naïve, awkward, nerdy freshman who thought she had her life all planned and figured out.

But what exactly caused my gradual but drastic transformation over my years at BYU? Was it the opportunities I had to study abroad? To participate in mentored research? To go on internships? Was it the classes I took? The things I learned? The places I went? The service I did? The jobs I had? …the list goes on and on…(I was here for a really long time).

As I thought about it more though, I realized that in a way it was all of those things. But more than the actual experiences or circumstances, it was the people I encountered along the way who helped shape me into who I am today.

C.S. Lewis’ observation explains perfectly why the people in my life have had such a profound affect on me. He said:

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal…but it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit” (The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses [1980], 19).

I think we can safely add that…assignments, exams, grades, deadlines, jobs, money…these are mortal. And even though these “mortal” things are necessary, it is so critical to remember that the people who surround us every day of our lives—from the janitor we share an elevator ride with, to the friends we see every day, to the professor who inspires us during a lecture—are all immortal souls who each have unique experiences, perspectives, and insights that we can benefit from…if we choose to overcome our own prejudices, fears, and insecurities.

Since “there are no ordinary people,” it follows that there are no ordinary moments in life…or at least there never has to be.

As Elder Maxwell said, “We must look carefully…not only at life’s large defining moments but also at the seemingly small moments. Even small acts and brief conversations count, if only incrementally, in the constant shaping of souls.” He continues by asking, “What will we bring to all of those moments small and large? Will we do what we can to make our presence count as a needed constant in such fleeting moments, even in micro ways?” (The Pathway of Discipleship, Ensign Sept 1998, 7)

I will never regret those moments when I decided to choose immortal encounters over pressing mortal demands. When I chose to spend all night talking with my roommates about precious gospel principles instead of studying for the big test I had the next day. When I chose to spend Saturday throwing a barbeque with the girl I visit taught who was having a difficult time feeling like she fit in instead of working on a project that was due on Monday. When I chose to extend my office hours to help a student struggling with the material in the class as well as personal issues instead of finishing the assignment that was due in my next class.

Those, among many others, are the encounters that have shaped my soul over these past few years. And those pressing mortal demands? The test, the project, the assignment? I honestly don’t even remember what happened with them, because in the grand scheme of things they didn’t even matter.

I will also be forever grateful for those who took time to help me learn and grow despite their own mortal demands. The professor who, even though he was overwhelmed by more important matters took the time to go over a paper line-by-line to help one frustrated underclassman understand how to improve her writing skills. My friend who would always drag me out of the lab at lunchtime to make sure I got something to eat despite my protests that the Wilkinson center was just too far away from the Widstoe Building to make it worth it. The famous scientist-physician who interrupted his conversation with James Watson (of Watson and Crick) to talk with and later offer a position to an intimidated undergraduate from BYU who wanted to work in his lab.

These people are just a few out of hundreds who have made their presence count in my life in small and large ways whether they were aware of it or not.

So what is my advice? That memorable bit that I hope you’ll actually take away from all of this? For that I’ll turn to Horace’s famous directive “carpe diem.” Though it’s usually translated as “seize the day” I prefer the alternate translation “pluck the day” or my favorite, “harvest the day.”

So go out and harvest today because it’s a good, good day! But please don’t forget to harvest tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after. Whether you are going from here straight into a high-powered, high-paying job, graduate school, medical school, or to flip burgers at McDonalds, remember that those circumstances are merely mortal…but what you do with the immortal encounters in life on a moment to moment basis will shape your soul and the souls of those around you.

These soul-shaping opportunities are there if we will only pluck them! It is so easy to get discouraged by the fruits that haven’t yet blossomed in our lives, but if we’re constantly waiting by the tree that hasn’t born fruit yet we’ll miss out on all of the moments and encounters that the Lord has provided for us today to help us become who we need to be to harvest the fruits of tomorrow. And hopefully in that distant tomorrow we’ll be able to look back on today and realize that we aren’t the same people who walked across this stage, but we are better, stronger, smarter, more fearless, more compassionate, more humble, more loving, more Christ-like.

Thank you.

Eulogy to an Unnamed Fishy

You made me so happy that day when Heather and I first met you in the Petsmart. I was really excited to get a new fishy because it was something I had been saving until after I had passed through that trial by fire otherwise known as “the MCAT.”

The way you gleefully wiggled around the tank made us smile, which is why we chose you even though Heather really liked the black fish with the googly eyes (but they kinda give me the creeps which is why I said "no" to Heather and chose you instead).

We spent the whole ride home trying to think of a good name for you, and I almost got into an accident because even though it was raining I kept looking at you trying to figure out what to call you.

When we brought you to the apartment you seemed to like the new big tank. You were shy at first though, and you used to hide under the rock or behind the plants in the corner. But after a few days you came out more and seemed to have fun swimming around with Shubu and Eddy. The three of you always made me smile when I came home from work and would see you riding the current from the filter or letting the bubbles carry you to the surface over and over again.

This week I was already sad about having to kill so many of my poor tumor-ridden mice, then tonight when I came into the living room and found your tiny dead body stuck to the filter my heart broke even more. You seemed so healthy and happy just this morning as I was calling you by several different names during feeding time to see if any would stick. Sadly, you weren’t around long enough for me to know which one you liked. (Just for the record Danni, I never called him Willy).

Maybe we'll never know why you died. I don’t know whether to blame it on sickness (which I really hope it isn’t or else Shubu and Eddy might get sick too) or the awful heat wave (even though I’m pretty sure that the water temperature didn’t change that much…you know water, with it’s high specific heat and all…). Maybe it was just your time to go.

What we do know is that you’re in a better place now, probably with Cleo and that fish that Heather threw in the dumpster that one time because she thought it was the spawn of Satan and then tried to cover up her crime and then worried that the fish was so evil that it would just keep growing in the dumpster until one day when she was bringing out the trash it would be big enough to eat her alive.

So little unnamed-yet-known-by-many-names fishy just know that even though you were only on earth for a short while, you were loved. And even though I didn’t cry when I found you like I did when Cleo died (don’t worry Anne, it definitely wasn’t a repeat of that experience) I was really, really sad and I’m going to miss you. RIP.

Freedom is...

Not having to spend every waking hour on your computer analyzing data, writing your thesis, or studying for the MCAT!

As much as I love my new little mac I have been more than happy to abandon it these past few weeks and have been enjoying my new-found freedom. It has been so nice to be able to do the things I want to do with absolutely no time constraints. I had honestly forgotten what a beautiful thing it is to be able to spend all day reading in the park, meeting a friend for a long conversation over brunch, or just being able to walk around the city discovering new haunts.

And, the incredible thing is that I have been so productive! I really think that I have been able to effectively channel my study energy into getting all of the things done that I have had to put off.

Some of the fun things I've been up to:

Right after the MCAT Sun took me out to Chipotle where I downed a child-sized burrito (seriously folks...these things are massive). I hadn't really been able to eat for about a week and a half before then, so the burrito provided needed sustenance.

The next day I washed about a month's worth of laundry, cleaned out my closet (the Salvation Army was very happy), went shopping, and then got to chillax with HB who came to visit me!

Among the many other super-fun things we did, we had a lovely picnic in Mt. Auburn Cemetery...

and freedom-trailed it...
(Honestly, I love visiting the Constitution. It is one of my favorite things to do in Boston. I don't know why, I just do...maybe I was a sailor in my former life. I was probably in charge of firing this cannon.)

I finally changed my license plate. (I'm officially no longer handicapped!)
OH! I also got another little boy! Isn't he cute! (He still doesn't have a name though...I'm open to suggestions.)

These are my other adorable little fishies just in case you haven't seen them. This is Shubu...

and this is Eddy (he is named after the Black Prince, Prince Edward, who was a big military man because he has black-tipped fins and when I first got him his entire fin was ripped--probably in battle--but it has since healed and he has a nice scar now).
I have also been busy voraciously reading, slowly making my way through paperwork that has piled up, deciding what schools to apply to, working on fun projects, and trying to decide what lab I want to work in next year. Overall life has been good and just keeps getting better!

How do I feel?

sigh...

I just really don't think I'll ever get tired of them. This is the one I bike past every day on my way to and from work.

Countdown: 68hrs 22min

Shattered hopes and dreams

I am now on my final few days of this crazy MCAT journey, and can I just say (although you may think I'm crazy)...studying is really like an extreme sport for me. Especially when I'm in cramming mode like I am now it is not only an intense mental activity but it is spiritual, emotional, and physical as well.

Yesterday I woke up and immediately started in. About 14 hours later I realized I was still going, hadn't eaten all day, and yet was still completely stimulated (there are just so many more exciting things to learn/review). I am actually really looking forward to taking the test on Friday and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the most fun I've ever had taking a standardized test, because it's almost entirely content based! It has been so rewarding studying and taking practice tests because most of the stuff I already know! And it's really comforting to realize that in all my many years of learning and teaching quite a bit has actually stuck with me.

Anyway, none of this is what I really wanted to post about today. As I mentioned before, this studying process has not only been mentally enlightening, but it has led to some deep contemplation about extremely emotional and spiritual aspects of my life (I guess it just goes to show that a stimulated mind is capable of balancing all sorts of things!). Specifically I've been thinking a lot about all of the hopes and dreams I've had throughout my life, and in particular throughout my time in Boston, and how most of them, inevitably, have been shattered.

Now I know that sounds completely depressing and sad, and believe me it has been! Nothing can adequately describe the intense, crushing feelings of confusion, loneliness, despair, etc...(insert whatever other depressing emotions you want) that come when your vision of where your life should be or should be going is ripped away from you. Those moments happen, but it's important for me to remember that they are just that...moments, and usually they are fleeting. Thankfully I have a loving Heavenly Father who reminds me as I turn to Him that those shattered dreams are just my dreams. His dreams for me are far more grand and encompassing than I can imagine. I have always loved this parable about how God works in our lives:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. (C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

Even though it hurts, sometimes abominably, the shattering of my dreams simply makes way for new ones...better ones. I have begun to realize how important it is for me personally to distinguish between knowing what God wants for me and knowing what He wants for me now. In the eventualities of time and eternity I know that He wants me to have all of my righteous desires for education, career, family, and ultimately exaltation fulfilled. However, I find that it is damaging to me when I artificially impose a time-table on Him for when all of those things are going to happen, because it is actually His timing that allows me to realize all of those dreams.

Unfortunately we live in a world that demands immediate gratification. If we need to know something or buy something we can know it or buy it immediately. We also live with the reality of a church culture whose emphasis on marriage and family makes us feel as though we are abnormal if we don't have those things now. When I struggle with a weakness or work on a long-term goal of mine it is easy to get frustrated with myself when the results aren't immediate or when I find myself falling back into old comfort zones. So I guess my question is, how do we find peace and happiness in our immediate yet imperfect circumstances while still focusing on the eternal, yet currently unfulfilled goals/desires? Is some degree of unhappiness or dissatisfaction necessary for us to keep striving toward achieving our righteous goals? What about those things we don't really have control over, like marriage and family? How can we find a happy equilibrium?

I think for me, turning to the Lord and asking Him for knowledge about His plan for my now is helpful. When I came to Boston I had a very clear plan: I was going to be here for a year while finishing my thesis, graduating, and applying for graduate school, then I was going to go to graduate school. I felt as though a mix of divinely-guided circumstances led me here and I was ready to carry out my plan. Life was great. Almost immediately after moving though, my glorious plan was shattered by some serious, life-shaking revelation (details omitted). And now, I am all of a sudden finding myself studying for the MCAT and applying to medical school, which is something that was so far from my plans it is still weird for me to think about it. But, this is what He wants for me now, and He doesn't just want me to do it, but He wants me to be passionate about it and stretch myself to new limits of both temporal and spiritual understanding. How could I not get excited about that?

But sadly enough, no matter how wonderful my now is I still find myself worrying about all the things I'm still not, the things I don't have, and how on earth a career as a physician-scientist is going to fit in to the grand plan for my life. Sorry, but an MD/PhD program is a long commitment, even if you know it's what you want and love. In a recent blessing I received though (man, I'm sharing a lot personal stuff today) my anxieties were addressed by the following counsel:

The Lord understands that at certain times you need to compartmentalize and focus on one aspect of your life. Don’t feel guilty if you have to put certain things on hold in order to focus on your career for the moment. The Lord understands. As you read the scriptures and pray every day the Lord will guide you in your life and help you not just make future plans for years, or months, or weeks in advance, but He will help you make wise decisions about how to use your time on a daily and even hourly basis.

Pretty good stuff huh? I can't tell you how comforting it is for me to know that for now this is what the Lord wants for me. When I look into the future, my path is still pretty murky but as I daily, and even hourly work on fulfilling the things He wants for me now I have no doubt that the path I am walking will eventually, in time or eternity, lead to the realization of all of my righteous desires.

How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who has all things before Him and knows what He is making me into. If sometimes that construction process hurts, good! I'm glad because I know that it's leading me closer to Him. I have never regretted replacing those shattered dreams of mine with His and as I continue to do so I marvel at how His timing and His plan for me allows all of those dreams to be fulfilled. He truly came and is still there so that I "might have life, and that [I] might have it more abundantly" (John 10:10) for which I am and will forever be grateful.

Oh man, this is going to be an exciting abundant summer of reading, pondering, and random philosophizing, cause I have so many more questions and thoughts! So get ready all ye few (two?) who actually read my blog...you're in for some lengthy, most likely nonsensical, but hopefully somewhat interesting mental meanderings.

My First Boston "Last"

Sad day! These past two weeks at work we have been injecting 80 mice as part of two separate studies, which are going to be my last mouse studies here at Children's Hospital. Today was officially my last surgery day in our mouse room, and it kind of made me sad because I realized that I am now venturing into that time right before you leave a place when you start having a lot of "lasts."

Oh the nostalgia!

Aren't we cute in our super-flattering marshmallow outfits? (As Sun always says..."you know it's love if the person still thinks you're attractive in the mouse room.")

Wow! I'm such an amazing surgeon!

He even survived! (Yes...people do now refer to me as "the mouse whisperer.")

Ok...enough reminiscing about all the great times I had injecting mouse prostates.

Thankfully I still have a whole lotta summer ahead of me and I plan on making it full of incredible "firsts" as well as "lasts" (possibly things that are even better than mouse surgery, although the mind reels at the thought that there could be something better out there).

So get ready Boston! That's all I have to say...get ready!

Lilac Sunday

Ahhh...what a lovely day for a picnic amongst the lilacs. Once a year the arboretum opens up their lawns to picnic-ers and...oh boy...it was gorgeous!We ate a yummy picnic meal and then went walking to take pictures/sniff at the lilacs...
and look at the pretty redbud trees...
and dogwood trees (sigh)...Then we went back, collected our stuff and took a walk through the rest of the arboretum...and found the most beautiful place on earth. Probably even prettier than the fabled White Way of Delight (seriously...the pictures don't even do it justice). When you climb the tree...all you see is blossoms around and above you...oh, and Heidi and Cousin Dave posing. What a glorious day!

p.s. Mom you're the best! I love your guts forever!
p.p.s. HB I hope you will read my blog now that I have pictures posted :-)

I'm not as stupid as I thought I was

It's true! I'm really not!

Last night I was getting really depressed about how little time I have left (less than two weeks now) and how much more stuff I still have to review.

(Seriously though, I was on the verge of tears...it was pretty ridiculous).

I was venting these woes of mine to my oh-so-wise sister who advised me to just take a practice test (one of the ones from the people who actually make the MCAT) to give myself an idea of where I was.

So today that's just what I did. And really, I was completely shocked at how well I did! (Don't worry I'm not gonna tell you my exact score, because it wasn't nearly as good as I want to do). Anyway...it's kinda comforting to know that I'm not as much of a dunce as I have been feeling lately. Phew! Now I guess I need to dive right back into the books. Chao!

Accident!

The craziest thing happened on my way home from work today. I decided to walk home because it was raining and I love rain in the springtime. (Poor Stella has to spend the weekend at Longwood). So as I was walking along enjoying the lovely flowers and blossoming trees (especially the pink dogwoods...they're my favorite!), thinking how beautiful Brookline is, and how F=-kx in simple harmonic motion...all of a sudden a truck comes speeding down the road, barrels into a little car, and then swerves onto the sidewalk flattening the road sign right in front of me. BAH! Good thing I had slowed down to look at an especially lovely tree or else I'm pretty sure I would be dead right now.

Thankfully no one was hurt, but the poor girl in the car was pretty shaken up (about how much I would have been in her situation I think) and her phone was dead so at least I could help by letting her use my phone to call her family and a tow truck in the midst of all the craziness of the sirens and firefighters prying her hood open. Whew! Crazy day!


pretty huh? they remind me of good ol' Virginia...aww

17 More Study Days

I broke down and actually looked at a calendar today...BAH!

Study Break

Drowning my I-had-a-bad-end-of-the-week sorrows in expired yogurt, comfy p-jammy pants, and blog-stalking between MCAT practice tests....gotta dive back into one now, so chao!



(I really should stop hyphenating everything...)

Thanks for the Laugh

www.isitchristmas.com

Yeah...this pretty much cracked me up (thanks HB). Of course...it was right after taking a horrendously difficult verbal reasoning test....so....yeah.

miscellanies

* Umbrellas are kind of amazing. I don't mean the concept of them or anything...I mean the super-foldy, mess-of-metal complicated umbrellas. I think that whoever came up with them was a genius and I'm glad that they did. (By the way my umbrella has a lifetime guarantee. Pretty amazing huh? I just found it wrapped around one of the wires today. So...as long as I don't lose the umbrella, I'm set for life!)

* My bangs are at that really frustrating stage right now where they are almost long enough to actually stay off to the side but not quite and I'm feeling pressure to make a decision. Should I cut them so that they are out of my way again even though they sometimes look really funny and I can't pin them back as easily? Or should I just push through and let them grow to be longer so they will stay behind my ear?...such a hard choice...

* I kind of miss the ipod adds on the train. While I was gone they replaced them with NesQuik adds, which are kind of ugly. It really did shock me when the train pulled up to take me to work and there, pasted on the side was a different picture. Weird how you get used to things being a certain way...

* I am glad that I usually culture my monolayer cells in plates instead of flasks. It saves SO much time! (and supplies, cause you don't go through as many pipets when you use plates).

* Procrastinating washing my laundry makes me more creative because I have to put together clothes that are from the deepest, rarely-worn, probably-have-been-considered-for-the-Goodwill-pile-at-some-point, part of my closet. So, if in these next few days I seem to be wearing unflattering or just downright ugly clothes, you now know why.

* Ummm...so I'm pretty sure I need to learn how to hold my tongue. Lots of times I tend to share thoughts and opinions as I'm still forming them and I don't think that is usually a good thing. I should probably work on that.

Why is my life so great?

So...today on the plane I was readin' my scrips and I love how they just know what to say every time!  With the ever-present MCAT looming (among other things) it was just great to be reminded that...

"A portion of [His] Spirit dwelleth in me, which giveth me knowledge, and also power according to my faith and desires which are in God." (Alma 18:35)

It is good to remember who the Source of all knowledge is, and that He is willing to share it with me if my desires are in line with His.  Awesome huh!  And the best part is...I know my desire to do well on this test so that I can go where I am supposed to go to medical school so that I can become the kind of doctor He wants me to be so that I can alleviate some of the pain and suffering of His children IS a righteous desire "which [is] in God."  And I know it is what He wants me to do...and that is am amazing feeling.

So watch out MCAT...I'm ready...(or at least I will be by May 23rd!)

p.s. I graduated!...(pictures and details to follow after the MCAT...)

p.p.s. Heidi I don't want you to move yet!

Help!

Alright folks...I really need your help.  Over the past few weeks, and especially over the past few days my brain has slowly been turning into a completely garbled pile of mush as I've tried to write my graduation talk.  This has honestly been SO incredibly difficult for me for some reason.  Then yesterday I had to go and read the following quote from Elder Maxwell:

"The patient person assumes that what others have to say is worth listening to.  A patient person is not so chronically eager to put forth his or her own opinions."

Of course I took it out of context and went from not being able to choose what to say in my speech to feeling like I don't have anything worth saying.

Yeah...pretty much my brain is completely discombobulated.

So, if any of you have any time at all to look over what I have and give me suggestions I would be ever so grateful because at this point I have written so many different versions that I can't tell what is worthwhile and what is garbage and I feel like I have no ability at all to articulate what I am trying to say.  I also really need to cut about 30 more seconds out so if you have any ideas about that I would appreciate it too.

Fresh eyes and fresh minds are sorely needed!

Please tear it to shreds.  Let me know if my logic is flawed, my wording is ridiculous and inappropriate, my ideas are fuzzy, my transitions are weak, etc...etc...

Thanks!  (Oh, and by the way if you are planning on attending graduation please don't read it yet...I don't want people being scared away from attending the ceremony on account of a terrible draft of my speech).

HERE IT IS!

Over these past few weeks I have come to realize that speaking at graduation is a pretty daunting task. A graduation speaker is supposed to be simultaneously inspiring, entertaining, memorable, and most importantly…brief (because we all know what still has to come after the talks). So as I was worrying about what I should say and how I should say it I turned to my friends for advice. Their responses to my request just made me laugh. Instead of actually giving helpful suggestions, nearly every single one of them got really excited and told me that I should somehow figure out how to mention them (several even offered me a money as incentive).

While it may not be a financially wise decision, I have decided to forgo reading off a list of my friends’ names, although ironically they are (in a way) who and what I want to talk about.

Recently as I was preparing a semester-by-semester summary of my “undergraduate experience” at BYU to include in my honors portfolio it really hit me how blessed I was to be able to take advantage of so many incredible opportunities throughout my time as a student here. These experiences put me in a wide variety of new, sometimes scary, but always exciting circumstances.

This exercise also reminded me what a completely different person I am now from when I started. That somewhat awkward, shy, naïve, (but excited!) nerd of a freshman who thought she had her life all planned and figured out is completely gone (well, maybe except for the nerd part). As I’ve tried to figure out exactly what caused this gradual but drastic transformation I realized that while all of the opportunities I had were amazing, it wasn’t the circumstances I was in that gave me the strength to change, but instead it was the interactions I had with the people I met along the way that have slowly shaped me into who I am now.

C.S. Lewis illustrated this concept perfectly when he asserted:
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal…but it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit” (The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses [1980], 19).

I think we can safely add…assignments, exams, deadlines, grades, jobs, money…these are mortal. And even though these “mortal” things are necessary, it is so critical to remember that the people who surround us every day of our lives from the janitor we share an elevator ride with to our closest friends to a famous scientist we may meet in passing are all immortal souls who each have unique experiences, perspectives, and insights that we can benefit from if we choose to overcome our own prejudices, fears, and insecurities.

Just as “there are no ordinary people” there are no ordinary moments in life, or at least there never has to be.
As Elder Maxwell said, “We must look carefully…not only at life’s large defining moments but also at the seemingly small moments. Even small acts and brief conversations count, if only incrementally, in the constant shaping of souls.” He continues by asking, “What will we bring to all of those moments small and large? Will we do what we can to make our presence count as a needed constant in such fleeting moments, even in micro ways?”

I will never regret those moments when I decided to choose immortal encounters over pressing mortal demands. When I chose to spend all night talking with my roommates about precious gospel principles despite the big test I had the next day. When I chose to spend Saturday throwing a barbeque with the girl I visit taught who was having a difficult time feeling like she fit in instead of working on a project that was due on Monday. When I chose to extend my office hours to help a student struggling with the material in the class as well as personal issues instead of finishing the assignment that was due in my next class.

Those, among many others, are the encounters that have shaped my soul over these past few years. And those pressing mortal demands? The test, the project, the assignment? I honestly don’t even remember what happened with them, because in the grand scheme of things they didn’t even matter.

I am also grateful for others who chose the immortal over mortal where I was concerned. The professor who, despite being overwhelmed by more important matters took the time to go over a paper line-by-line to help one frustrated underclassman understand how to improve her writing skills. My friend who would always drag me out of the lab at lunchtime to get something to eat despite my protests that the Wilkinson center was just too far away from the Widstoe Building to make it worth it. The famous scientist-physician who interrupted his conversation with James Watson (of Watson and Crick) to talk with and later offer a position to an intimidated undergraduate from BYU who wanted to work in his lab.

These people are just a few out of hundreds who have made their presence count in my life in small and large ways whether they were aware of it or not.

So what is my advice? That memorable bit that I hope you’ll actually take away from all of this? For that I’ll turn to Horace’s famous directive “carpe diem.” Though usually translated as “seize the day” I prefer the alternate translation “pluck the day” or my favorite, “harvest the day.”

So go out and harvest today because it is a good day! But please don’t forget to harvest tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after. Whether you are going from here straight into a high-powered, high-paying job, graduate school, medical school, or to flip burgers at McDonalds, remember that those circumstances are merely mortal…but what you do with the immortal encounters in life on a moment to moment basis will shape your soul and the souls of those around you.

These soul-shaping opportunities are there if we will only pluck them! It is so easy to get discouraged by the fruits that haven’t yet blossomed in our lives (especially if we find ourselves working at McDonalds), but if we are constantly waiting by the tree that hasn’t yet born fruit we will miss out on all of the opportunities, moments, and encounters that the Lord has provided for us today to help us become who we need to be to harvest the fruits of tomorrow.

Thanks guys...you're the best!

The Need for Light

So I had to stay at the lab really late today and was debating whether to ride Stella home or not.  Usually it wouldn't even be an issue because Stella and I are quite the stellar team (except this morning she decided to de-gear her chain and I barely averted disaster...we'll have to work on that one).  The only reason I hesitated was because it was quite dark outside and I haven't made time to put the silly little light-mounting thinga-ma-jig onto Stella's handlebars so that I can use my bike light.  Oh, and the fact that I was wearing super-dark burglaresque clothing didn't help the whole cars-will-probably-have-a-hard-time-seeing-you thing.  But, despite the lack-of-light I decided to go for it, because it was so nice outside and I didn't want to waste the opportunity to have a star-studded ride through the streets o' Brookline with my pal Stella.

Well, despite the nice weather I discovered that light really is a good thing, and not just to help cars see me.  You see...it really is safer to navigate the rather complicated topography of the streets if you can see them.  I came uncomfortably close to being swallowed by several potholes, and nearly flew over the handlebars a few times when accidently running into manhole covers.  (I really don't understand how they can make them poke up so unnaturally out of the road like that.  It is quite unbelievable).  All I have to say is thank goodness for my crazy bike-riding skills!  Otherwise I may not have made it home and would probably have ended up back at the hospital where I started.

Moral of the story: I should probably move "giving Stella a headlight" from my "Things to do after the MCAT" to my "Things to do before the MCAT" list.

Brittle Nails and...Tuna Fish?

Lately I have been somewhat frustrated by the state of my fingernails. Now, while I don’t obsess about my nails like some girls do, I prefer them to be strong enough not to break or chip at the slightest provocation. So, the other day as I was waiting for my timer to go off (my life in the lab is run completely on timers because I am always waiting for something to be done spinning, incubating, etc…) I was staring at my brittle fingernails wishing they were not so brittle. Wondering what I could do about my woeful nail situation I began thinking… The traditional remedy for brittle nails is simply painting them with various sorts of strengthening polishes. Sadly, I can’t wear fingernail polish because all the chemicals I work with in the lab strip it off within minutes. So, I was left wondering what deficiencies in my diet were preventing me from enjoying the benefits of healthy nails. Thankfully, I was able to ask the all-knowing Internet and found out that while brittle nails can be caused by many dietary deficiencies, some of the most important nutrients for healthy nails are provided by tuna fish (B vitamins and essential fatty acids among other things). This fact made me very happy because I am a big tuna fan. But, I did realize that I hadn’t eaten tuna for quite a while. So I promptly went home and made a tuna fish sandwich for dinner that night. Ever since I have been making sure to get a healthy dose of tuna and I think it’s paying off! I’ve gotta go now because its time for lunch and I’ve got a yummy tuna sandwich waiting just for me!

Stella is Back!!!

Stella is officially done hibernating! After the longest winter ever she and I have been reunited and had a lovely ride ’round the neighborhood this afternoon. (By the way for those of you who don’t know Stella, she is my trusty steed, otherwise known as my bicycle. Oh…and I love her).

After removing her from the bike cage where she has been wintering I dusted her off, filled up her tires, and away we went…two old friends together again. It was a lovely (though rather windy) day and we went out exploring several of the cute old neighborhoods in Brookline Village. The houses were lovely, the sunshine was lovely, and overall the ride was lovely (although biking up the hill to my house into the wind almost kicked my trash). Wow…I’m saying lovely a lot. But it was!

Though I don’t have enough time to write a complete history of our relationship, just know that it all began one chilly Florida February when I, as a new missionary, first laid eyes on what would become my traveling companion for these many years. We have seen it all together and it has been a fun ride! Stella…here’s to you and all that you have done and continue to do for me...I love you!

p.s. I am really excited to bike around Boston again. If possible, it is even more of an adventure than driving!

Me and Stella chillin' in Florida (Notice the
sexy knee-highs showing...I was such a dork!)