It has begun!!!

Today after coming home from a campout I went to this weekend I checked my email, and right there in my inbox was my first secondary application!!! Due to extreme craziness in my life over the past few weeks including temporarily living as a homeless person (Dan, you have officially received at least 1000 points in heaven for sheltering the homeless) and then moving into an absolute pig sty once the crazy lady and her cats finally moved out and starting a new job on top of all of it all...I just barely turned in my primary application Friday morning. (It was going to be in Thursday night, but I was so tired that I fell asleep face-down on my computer while doing the final edits on my last essay).

Anyway, I wasn't expecting to hear from schools until mid-week at the earliest, but to my surprise they have already started rolling in, and I'm hoping they'll keep coming, then be followed by interview offers, then (cross my fingers) acceptance letters. I've been so tied up and worried about everything that it is kind of exciting to be at this point now, and to really be doing it.

If I'm going to be perfectly honest, I think one reason why I initially delayed turning my application in was because it finally hit me around the middle of the summer the full extent of what I was committing to. Other than making a huge time commitment for the actual schooling, getting this degree means committing myself to a lifestyle that is difficult and time-consuming with the potential to be completely heart-breaking at times and exhilerating at others. And that commitment is incredibly scary, no matter how certain I am that this is something I'm supposed to do with my life.

And what's even scarier is that I've realized that it is entirely my choice, and I'm the one who is going to be living with the consequences of that choice, good or bad. I could choose a life and career that is much easier, much more lucritive, and much more relaxing, but I would miss out on the opportunites that lie ahead of me to succor those in need of succor, and find answers for those whose lives are in my hands. Needless to say, these and other similar thoughts have given me cause to pause this summer and really think about what it means for me to do this, and what I want for my life, and most importantly, what Heavenly Father wants for me. As I'm pretty sure I've mentioned multiple times before, I don't know how everything is going to work out, and having faith can be really frightning, but I'm trying my hardest to walk toward this decision with faith that the Lord knows what He's doing with my life much better than I do. So, we'll see what the coming months bring, but regardless of what may happen I just hope I have enough courage to keep Him at the helm.